this was me – 4 years ago. and yet today is almost a repeat. same song -new verse. it’s like a scratch on an old vinyl record. every time i lift and move the needle, it jumps back to the scratch. i should trash this record. i don’t like this song anyway. ..
once upon a time, eight and a half years ago, that girl met that boy. that girl fell for that boy. that girl fell so hard. that boy proposed to that girl. that girl accepted. that girl planned a wedding, got all dolled up, and married that boy. and they lived happily ever after….right? wrong.
that boy was a lie. that boy lived a lie. that boy was a liar. and all of his lies canceled out the happily ever after.
after years of living a multiple life, that boy left that girl. alone. on thanksgiving day. that boy told that girl that she was not worthy to attend thanksgiving dinner with his family. that boy left that girl that day, with nothing. that boy took away that girls dreams that day. that boy also took one of his girlfriends on a trip to the same place he had been on a honeymoon with that girl. but not before, he secretly paid and filed for a divorce. that boy came back at the end of that week. that boy told that girl that he did not love her and he was divorcing her. that boy threw that girl out of his life, their home and her fairy tale – with nothing. that boy then played house with that girlfriend, and then another and then another. but that boy stalked that girl. that boy was obsessed with controlling that girl. that boy was mentally and verbally abusive to that girl. that girl was the other woman in that marriage. and for three more years, that girl hung around after that boy left her. that girl took it.
that boy had so many affairs. with so many women. that boy ran an unsuccessful political campaign. that boy got another girlfriend pregnant.that boy hurt so many people.
that girl had been unaware of the other life that boy was living. that girl loved that boy. that girl still loves that boy. but that girl had to lie and say she didn’t love that boy anymore. that girl had to survive. that girl had to walk away from that boy.
and one thanksgiving day after those three years, that boy was all alone. that boy had nothing. not even a dream.
one day, that girl will meet that man. that girl will be that woman to that man. and that boy will be nothing but a bad memory to that girl.
~ that girl wrote this. and that boy will find it one day…..
After everything that he did to keep me away from her… she is home now.
So this is for my baby…
Nickelback – Never Gonna Be Alone found on Pop
You say you want me back?
You say love me.
You kiss me.
You hold me.
You don’t want to let me go.
Did you fake that tear?
This one is for you…
So I did a google search on loss and what to say… and I came up with a few sites that have already done a rant or two on these same topics… One is for quotes… One is for loss of a child…
Just to give you another scenario – another friend of mine was approached by a well-known socialite of the local town… and bombarded with this question “So when are you due?” My friend replied, “What? I’ve already delivered two months ago!”
And finally, here’s one that happened to me personally. In the elevator at work, a stranger asks, “When are you due?” I don’t recall answering. I just looked at them in disbelief. I am not even pregnant.
Today the phone has rang once.
I’ve gotten a few things accomplished at work.
The cookbook was sent off yesterday so I’m just here.
275 recipes. 23 pages of ads. Color cover front & back. Plus a 9 page write up on the inside.
I would think I would be ecstatic – but I’m just not.
The day is passing so slowly. Plenty of time to remember the things I keep forgetting…. but then plenty of time to forget again before the end of the day.
What do I want to be when I grow up?
Yesterday, I was a wife, lover, mom, housekeeper, taxi driver, maid, cook , babysitter, trash woman, car detailer, laundry cleaner, waitress, kitchen show planner & website developer.
Today, I am all of those things plus —> a hairdresser, secretary, office manager, accountant, receptionist, demolition crew leader, inventory specialist, graphics designer, mail clerk, travel agent, best friend-that-never-receives-calls-but-only-makes-them, best sister ever, divorce lawyer liason for abused women, bank teller, CEO of two upcoming businesses, and writer.
I used to want to be a lawyer.
Then I changed my mind to want to become a Kineasiologist.
Then I became a fitness instructor.
Then I became a retail clerk to put myself thru school to become a liberal arts major.
Then I became a young mom & household manager.
Then I became a soccer mom, soccer coach, soccer director & finally a Vice President of the local Women’s Civic Club.
Today I want to find out how much more education I need to become a “something other than what I have become” person. Any suggestions?
I was just speaking with a dear friend of mine & we were discussing the weather. I said something about how it was kind of hot in the elevators in our building. She said, “yea that humility outside will get you. They say it’s going to be about 99 percent humility today so. Whew!”
I just smiled. I love it!
